Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
