is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
