and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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