just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
