We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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