How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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