Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
