you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize