What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
