I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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