I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
