You just made me feel so damn special
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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