That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.