I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.