I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
