His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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