I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
