How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize