I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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