you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
