its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
