You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
