yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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