Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Please, let me fuck your mom
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
