I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
