Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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