WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo