We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level