You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better