dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.