He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
