I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
