I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
