I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
