Fine. I'll sleep in my office
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Are we still banned from the library?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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