All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
