just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
