i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
