My room smells like vodka and shame
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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