I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
