my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
