so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
