We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Everything about him screamed your future.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
