Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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