Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
