yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
