And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
