omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
