dude i'm inner monologue high
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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