I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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