She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
