just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
