Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
