i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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