i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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