We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I need moral support for this bender
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
