on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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