I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
