in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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