Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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