i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
