I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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