Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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