i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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