this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
