So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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